Run From The Pain

I’m not having a good couple of days. Okay, week.

I try to identify triggers for low mood, so I can do something about it, but the only thing I can pin point close to when this mood started is the snow last week. It hit last Friday, remember? As a result I wasn’t able to do the last run in my Couch To 5k week one and it really threw me out. In fact, it mucked up my entire day. Then over the weekend I couldn’t find time to slot the run in, so it rolled around to Monday again.

So I started over.

But also, on Monday, I finally (FINALLY!) had my first session of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). I’ve been on the waiting list for this since I first got referred by my GP back in April (!!!) and I had thought I didn’t need it any more. Glad I still went in, but boy has it left me raw. And that was just an opening admin session. My therapist believes I have post natal depression (yeeeeey) and that, together, we can work on my behaviours to better cope with regular issues I’ll have day by day just through being a mum (yey – non sarcastic this time).

But I’m guessing it bothered me more than I let on. Then, come Thursday, I skipped into Slimming World expecting something amazing and came away with a measly 0.5lb loss.

aaargh text pain
Credit: dominiquechappard

Meh. A loss is a loss and I should be happy with that, but I was hoping for so much more. But if I’m truly honest with myself, I know that I’ve not been on plan as firmly as I have in previous weeks. So this shouldn’t be unexpected.

Anyway, this morning I woke feeling bleak and decided I would go for a run anyway. It’s the third one of the week which means the first podcast is now complete. I feel somewhat less bleak now, sitting here, having had the exercise. Still, the act of running can be compared to running away from pain/stress/anger/sadness, so from a mental placebo point of view, I do feel like I’ve outrun something. Not sure what though. o.O

But I’m still not myself. I can feel that. And I’m not sure what to do about it.

Unless . . .

My Slimming World Facebook group has been and continues to be super supportive even in an oblique way and many folk have been posting now and then photos. It made me think about this blog and the changes I’ve made since starting it so . . . it can’t hurt to do the same here, right? Just a quick side by side photo to see what’s changed?

Well, let’s see:

Oct 9 2015
Oct 9 2015
Me in my gym gear
Jan 9 2017

Hmm. -_- I can’t see much difference at all, but it’s my body, so that’s understandable. Maybe you can? I don’t normally ask for responses directly, but if you do look at these two pics and see a difference anywhere (beyond location! :-p) it would really help me to hear what you see.

For now, I think I’m going to head off and come up with a nice healthy lunch to take the edge off this made urge to snack I can feel creeping up on me. After all, I don’t want to unravel my knitting, right?

da shared brain signature

Run Like The Wind!

Thanks, Sarai! ;-)
Thanks, Sarai! 😉

Okay, more like ‘run into the wind until your eyes stream with tears’ but I did it. Another run down, followed by 20 minutes of fabulous yoga stretching.

I’m having such a good time getting back to exercise the way I used to. Indeed it changes the shape of my whole day, either knowing I have exercise to come, or that I’ve already down 45-60 mins worth of exercise.

My goals are small for the moment, I just want to be sure that I do at least 30 mins every day, be that on the Wii or out and about. That should enable me to get my 10,000 steps in while keeping me in the habit.

You know that ache in my muscles I used to talk about after a good workout? Well that’s back. Never thought I’d be so pleased to be in pain, lol. I can move far freer than usual and my flexibility is back too. Getting my hands flat to the floor with straight legs is my mini goal, but I can already tuck my fingers under my toes as far as the first knuckle, so I’m back to where I was before. Which is nice.

Bathroom Scales
Credit: tom

Tomorrow I have my next Slimming World weigh in. I’m actually really excited about it (weird, right?) but I have the same good feeling about this week as I did last week. And, I don’t know if I told you, but last week (so the week following new year) I lost 7lbs. So that recovers the 4.5lbs I put on over Christmas and then some. ^_^ I’ll take that!

Only 4lbs until my 2.5 stone award. Which I reeeeeeeeeeeeeally want! Wish me luck!

da shared brain signature

Back To Basics

Yep. It really is back to basics in terms of exercise. All last week I made sure to spend at least 20 minutes on the Wii Fit. Mostly yoga, but I also added a smattering of muscle and balance exercises. It’s not much, but it’s more than I was doing before and I’ve already seen an improvement in my balance and stride.

Me in my gym gear
Remember this outfit? ^_^

Then, this morning . . .

Yes! Back out in the wide world, not at the gym, but running! ^_^

It’s been so long—nearly a year—since I did a few laps of the park, but it felt so GOOD! I’m back on Couch to 5k, and I’m not crazy, so I’ve gone right back to week one of the podcast (I wasn’t kidding about back to basics), which alternates 60 seconds of running with 90 seconds of walking.

It was tough, I won’t lie, but the whole time, I kept reminding myself that this time last year, I was running for a full half hour. That kept me going and, towards the end, I barely noticed the 60 seconds passing. It makes me hopeful for the next few weeks. Imagine, by my birthday, I’ll back to 30 minute runs. Talk about an awesome birthday present!

da shared brain signature

Couch To 5k – Week Nine, Run Three

Ha! First of all, happy new year. Welcome to 2016, where all sorts of good things can and will happen to and for you. Hope you’ve had as pleasant a day as I have.

First post of the new year I’m thrilled to say that I’m now a Couch to 5K graduate! I completed my third run of the week, made 2.48 miles in 30 mins which brings me to the end of the course. Yeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaa!

Even better, I bumped into the Park Run crowd, which meant I got to see their route, their organisation and chat with some of the volunteers and runners that do it. In short, I’m thrilled at the idea I’ll be able to do a race type thing like that, but I’ll have to work around it because it currently clashes with my writing group. When I get to the point at which I can actually make 5k in 30 minutes (or less) I’ll probably be able to fit it in, get home, wash, eat and head out. Maybe.

But . . . for now, the thing I want to say most is:

Couch To 5k: Week Nine, Run Three: Complete

Couch To 5k Course: Complete!

Also, I want to give thanks to all the folk that stopped by to leave a comment on Wednesday. It really did help pick me up when I was down and sent me out today in a far better mood. I was able to hold my head high and be proud that I was running, never mind that the Park Run crowd were zipping past me, never mind that I felt slow. I was running and I’m talking positive steps, on my own, to achieve the healthy body and lifestyle I’ve always said I wanted for myself.

After all, ‘No matter how slow you go, you’re lapping everyone still on the couch.’ 😉

That’s what I want and only through slow improvement/change (like I’ve already demonstrated) will I make it there.

 

Now! Since it’s the new year, it’s time to give this blog a bit of a switch up. I’m not longer going to be posting every day I do a bit of exercise. My aim is to do something every day, even if it’s just a brisk walk or a bit of Wii Yoga. Instead, I’ll do a ‘week’s round up’ or something similar, every Sunday and then, on Friday or Thursday do my ‘Check In’ post with all my stats. That way I won’t overload you, or myself with posts about the same old thing.

So . . . catch you next Thursday! ^_^

da shared brain signature

Couch To 5k – Week Nine, Run Two

-_- Not as good a run today. Sure, I made a good distance and felt comfortable throughout, but it didn’t feel the same. I was doing fine right up until the point that I hit one of the long straight stretches up the side of the park. Then this guy in a big jacket walked past me.

He walked past me.

How the hell slow was I going?! It threw off the rest of the run for me and put me in a really foul mood. I couldn’t get beyond the horrible feeling that I wasn’t pushing hard enough and that I’m too slow.

At this stage of the game—early in my running career—I know it’s far more important that I spend the time running,than doing so at speed, but that . . . that ruined it for me. I felt inadequate and ridiculous. I spent the last 15 minutes alternating between too fast to maintain and too slow because I was so busy thinking about it.

Couch To 5k: Week Nine, Run Two: Complete

Guess it didn’t help that I was quite distracted this morning. I’m still really tired and though taking the iron supplements seems to be helping, I’m still struggling to get up in the mornings and to sleep well at night.

Tonight I’m going to try heading off to bed far sooner than usual and sleeping all the way through. Perhaps that will make a difference when the morning comes around. We’ll see. That’s all I can do.

da shared brain signature

Couch To 5k – Week Nine, Run One

Is it nuts that I’m already thinking about my next training programme? I haven’t finished the C2K yet, but with two more runs to go before completion, I’m already thinking about improving my speed to reach that 5k within 30 minutes.

Today I ran for 31 minutes (couldn’t help but keep going until the end of the song) which was 2.65 miles according to my vivo. To reach 5k I’m not far off (according to the Google calculator I ran 4.26km). I’m stunned at how comfortable it was and how I only seemed to struggle with the uphill sections of the route. There aren’t many and they aren’t steep, but the incline does make a difference to my pace.

But the fact that I’m soooo close to the 5k is really encouraging as I thought I was nowhere near.

Couch To 5k: Week Nine, Run One: Complete

I wish I could take the camera on these runs. I know I’d have to stop running to take a shot, but it’s so beautiful out there. Today the sky was blue, purple and pink all along the tree line. The wind was high and keep dragging my feet sideways and a stunning black Labrador decided to chase me for a couple of paces before dashing back to his owner. All in all, I’m beginning to enjoy the running as much as the fact that I can say I run.

Last night I told the other half ‘I’m going for a run in the morning’ and felt such a thrill. It’s a fantastic thing to be able to say, given that I’m just not all that fit compared to where I want to be. But today marks the start of a whole new exercise regime for me and I’ve never been more excited about the idea of exercise.

Quite a bit of a switch to when this blog began, right? I may have to change my tagline. 😉

da shared brain signature

Couch To 5k – Week Eight, Run Three

Woooooooooooohooooo, laaaaah-di-daaaaaah!

What a lovely run! ^_^

I was running slowly—I am aware of that—but it was lovely. Dark, windy, with a GORGEOUS full moon hanging over the park as I went. It slowly got lower and lower and bigger and bigger as I did my route and part of the joy was just watching it. The clouds were low and wispy, moving quickly, which gave the whole park and eerie sort of silver glow that deepened and lightened as they hid the moon.

Having the music was great for the run as well and, with the extra three minutes—since this was a 28 min run—took me into the car park, a fair bit further than last time. Next week, when I finally do the full 30 minutes, I’ll be able to measure how far I go and then work on slowly increasing the speed and trying to get further each time.

Couch To 5k: Week Eight, Run Three: Complete

Today is Boxing Day, as you probably already know, and a Saturday. I would have done the run yesterday, but there was no way to fit it in with all the running around, family visits and food to eat.

I just want to take a moment to congratulate myself openly on my restraint yesterday too. Yes, I ate a great deal and yes, a lot of it was probably bad for me, but it was nowhere near the quantities I’ve eaten over Christmas Days in previous years and I’m fairly confidence that my weight hasn’t ballooned like it might otherwise have done.

If I make it to town today I’ll do a check-in on the scales and post it so I can check out the rest of the details. I’m really curious to see what my body fat has done compared to my weight as well, since I really can feel that there is significant change in my thighs and stomach.

The new year is coming up and I’m hoping to introduce some changes to this blog and the way I post. I want to give more writing focus to my other projects, without leaving you guys wanting (I know the handful of you who do read are taking something away from my ramblings).

For now, I’m done. Have a good’un and I’ll catch you next week.

da shared brain signature