Run From The Pain

I’m not having a good couple of days. Okay, week.

I try to identify triggers for low mood, so I can do something about it, but the only thing I can pin point close to when this mood started is the snow last week. It hit last Friday, remember? As a result I wasn’t able to do the last run in my Couch To 5k week one and it really threw me out. In fact, it mucked up my entire day. Then over the weekend I couldn’t find time to slot the run in, so it rolled around to Monday again.

So I started over.

But also, on Monday, I finally (FINALLY!) had my first session of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). I’ve been on the waiting list for this since I first got referred by my GP back in April (!!!) and I had thought I didn’t need it any more. Glad I still went in, but boy has it left me raw. And that was just an opening admin session. My therapist believes I have post natal depression (yeeeeey) and that, together, we can work on my behaviours to better cope with regular issues I’ll have day by day just through being a mum (yey – non sarcastic this time).

But I’m guessing it bothered me more than I let on. Then, come Thursday, I skipped into Slimming World expecting something amazing and came away with a measly 0.5lb loss.

aaargh text pain
Credit: dominiquechappard

Meh. A loss is a loss and I should be happy with that, but I was hoping for so much more. But if I’m truly honest with myself, I know that I’ve not been on plan as firmly as I have in previous weeks. So this shouldn’t be unexpected.

Anyway, this morning I woke feeling bleak and decided I would go for a run anyway. It’s the third one of the week which means the first podcast is now complete. I feel somewhat less bleak now, sitting here, having had the exercise. Still, the act of running can be compared to running away from pain/stress/anger/sadness, so from a mental placebo point of view, I do feel like I’ve outrun something. Not sure what though. o.O

But I’m still not myself. I can feel that. And I’m not sure what to do about it.

Unless . . .

My Slimming World Facebook group has been and continues to be super supportive even in an oblique way and many folk have been posting now and then photos. It made me think about this blog and the changes I’ve made since starting it so . . . it can’t hurt to do the same here, right? Just a quick side by side photo to see what’s changed?

Well, let’s see:

Oct 9 2015
Oct 9 2015
Me in my gym gear
Jan 9 2017

Hmm. -_- I can’t see much difference at all, but it’s my body, so that’s understandable. Maybe you can? I don’t normally ask for responses directly, but if you do look at these two pics and see a difference anywhere (beyond location! :-p) it would really help me to hear what you see.

For now, I think I’m going to head off and come up with a nice healthy lunch to take the edge off this made urge to snack I can feel creeping up on me. After all, I don’t want to unravel my knitting, right?

da shared brain signature

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4 thoughts on “Run From The Pain

  1. I can see a difference between the two photos (it is made slightly trickier by the fact that you’re wearing quite loose clothes in both, so your figure is disguised. Maybe start taking pictures in a leggings or a more form-fitting top to see the difference more easily?)
    In the second photo you’ve got a silhouette that is a bit more streamlined and smooth. You also look a bit smaller round your waist and middle (everyone’s least favourite area!). And finally, check out the differences in your pose and posture. I know one of your goals here is weight loss and fitness, but there’s also a confidence in the second photo that isn’t there in the first. You look like you’ve done something that you’re proud of, you’ve impressed yourself, and you feel good about this new aspect of your life. And you should!
    Glad to hear about the CBT coming through too. That mental stuff is so important, and will help with a lot of other parts of life.

    Like

    1. Y’know, the funny thing about that top is that, when I first bought it, it was form fitting. Maybe that should be a clue. Despite my love of cameras I remain terrified of pics of myself, but meh, I think you’re right. I’m told over and over to take more pictures so I can see the difference, so maybe it’s time to pay attention.
      Thanks for taking the time to check it, it means a lot. ^_^

      Like

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