Conversations With The Funk Master #001

I talk quite candidly with my other half. Don’t we all? Anyway, we often have conversations about what I’m doing, how I’m getting on and how they make me feel.

This series of posts will share some of those conversations with you, 1) because they’re funny and 2) because, in years to come, I want to remember how awesome and supportive he has been.

Let’s go:

Scene: We’re getting ready for bed, he’s already tucked up and comfortable, I’m wriggling about trying to get comfortable.

Me: What . . . fuck! A lump, I found a lump.

TFM: Huh—

Me: A lump, come here, feel it. Feel it!

*TFM shuffles across the bed to investigate.*

TFM: There’s nothing there—

Me: No, here. Here, feel it?

*directing his hand to the appropriate spot*

TFM: . . . that’s your hip bone.

Me: What?

TFM: Your hip bone. Here, look, I have the same thing.

*directs my hand to the same place on his body*

Me: Oh. I’ve never felt that before.

TFM: *laughing* You’d better get used to that since you’re going to be tall and slim.

Me: The fuck . . . bone? How the hell do skinny people cope?

TFM: Dunno. Think you can tell me soon?

Me: *grumble grumble grumble*


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