Well . . . I did it. I went back to the gym and started my run again. I re-ran session two of week five and . . . I can’t decide if I failed or not. I didn’t run the whole thing. Yes, according to the treadmill, I maintained the same pace for both of the eight minute runs, but the ‘running motion’ occasionally dropped down to a super fast walk.
I don’t know what that means.
I don’t know if it means anything!
I just know that I don’t feel as relieved/pleased/happy/keen as I thought I would, having successfully made it to the end. All I can think about is Friday and that 20 minute run. How much it’s going to hurt. How much I’m going to struggle.
At this point I can safely say that I’m screwing myself over with my brain, rather than my ability, but it’s still really maddening when I can’t get past it. 😦
I met with Karl today too for my three month check in. He was cute as ever, animated and funny (proper Lesta lad!) and I’m pleased to say that according to his stats, all the things we were worried about have gone down: resting heart rate, blood pressure, BMI, weight and body fat. I knew that—I’ve been keeping tabs well enough—but validation is something I really seem to need. So that was a positive part of today.
That run though . . . I dunno. I guess I’ll know more on Friday, but right now my legs are hurting and I’m starting wonder if all those days off I had as recovery have done more harm than good. Just the action of running was hard today, as though I’ve forgotten what to do. 😦
Ho hum. Chin up, girl! You’re still in the game. Amirite? ^_^