Different course leader again today. This lady called Nicki and the chirpiest figurehead we’ve had to date. She was pleasantly bonkers with a bright voice, big laugh and supportive attitude. Not only that but she brought in chocolate for us to eat (!!!).
. . . I know, right, but I’ll explain. Today’s session was emotional eating and we talked about all the different ways through which we don’t fully appreciate our food. Eating while moving, watching TV, standing up, working (a bit like I am now—naughty!), all of which can lead to over eating. She brought in a pack of Heros and had us take one each and put it on the table in front of us. Then look at the wrapping, the colours, the texture, the writing. Then open it and look at the chocolate. The shape, the colour, any markings. Then we sniffed it. Then we nibbled off the tiiiiiiiiiiinest piece . . .
It was vile. I hate Cadbury’s at the best of times, but lingering over the chocolate like that was gross. That stuff is too sweet, it tastes artificial and grainy and in some unpleasant cases, even salty. Don’t get me wrong, salted chocolate/caramel is lovely, but not when it has mega amounts of sugar in competition. It’s just . . . nasty.
Anyway, I’ll admit that by the time she told us to sniff the little brown squares I knew what was going on, but I appreciate the exercise because it validates something I’ve been doing for some time.
I buy expensive chocolate. I mean stupidly expensive chocolate from Hotel Chocolat. The boxes used to come to my house once every three months and I’d split the contents with a friend. Then I’d horde my share in the study and eat them. Since starting LEAP and Get Healthy and all manner of other things I’ve been doing to watch my weight since the summer, I’ve stopped the boxes. But one slipped through back in October.
Like before, I refused to share it. It was mine (damn it!!!) and the chocolate within too expensive to give to the kids (who just don’t get it) or to share with the other half who just inhales chocolate in seconds and then forgets about it. So I made the box last.
Three weeks passed before I even took it from the delivery packaging. Then I opened it up and the smells hit me. The spices, the subtle sweetness, the hints of wood and even alcohol lingering in some of the larger truffles. Then I took one, wrapped up the box, put it aside and made that single piece of chocolate last for fifteen minutes.
And that, is how I eat chocolate now. I won’t deny that every now and then I go mad and just by the (nicest) cheap crap I can find, but largely, if I want chocolate I’ll go for the stash hidden in the study, take one and savour it. The stuff costs so damn much that by the time I eat that one piece I don’t dare have another. It’s a really good way of keeping track. 😉
Oh and I put 2lbs back on. Hardly surprising since I went nutty at the weekend for my sister’s birthday and ate too many sweets. Oh, and last night I devoured an entire bag of Kettle chips while watching Jessica Jones. I know, I know, it’s bad, right, but I’m getting better. At least I’m not doing it four times a week like I used to.