No . . . I haven’t been shopping :p (though I did buy some clothes to wear specifically to the gym the other week), but I don’t suppose I can keep up a blog like this and not talk about shopping for clothes.

I hate shopping at the best of times (ha, typical girl?) but clothes are the worst. Because of my size, I’m pretty much forced into three shops: Simply Be, Evans and veeeeeeeeeeeeery occasionally Debenhams. The clothes are beautiful, the colours gorgeous, but the fabrics are often cheap and flimsy (or jersey, which I HATE!) and the prices astronomical.

It isn’t new, but as soon as the market realises there is a niche to be filled, they will do so, often at great cost to those who use that niche, either because ‘items are rare and hard to come by’ or ‘the markup is larger’ or ‘more work is involved.’ There are all sorts of daft excuses and while some of them are valid (plus size clothes DO use more fabric) I feel cheated and constantly angered that a pair of jeans costs me £45 while a slimmer person could get a nicer, better quality pair for £20.

There isn’t much I can do about this. I can (and apparently feel a desire to) bitch and moan and write angry blog posts. However there’s something I’m learning through my experiences as an independent author and publisher (or author entrepreneur—thanks Joanna Penn!). I can do anything I want. I can get anything I want with work and perseverance. If I want to spend £20 on a pair of jeans from Dorothy Perkins instead of £50 on a pair from Simply Be (yes, they get that high) then there’s a very clear and obvious thing I need to do.

I need to trim down.

Thankfully for me, I’m on the path. Regular slip ups (snacking is still an issue I’m working on) prevents me seeing the results as quickly as I’d like, but there is progress. I have to keep telling myself that even if scales don’t agree.

There is a denim coat in the back of my wardrobe. I’ve had it since I was 18. It’s knee length and buttons from the neck to mid thigh. It’s beautiful. I haven’t been able to wear it since I was 22. My ultimate goal is to get back into that coat, to be able to button it and wear it proudly. I’ve kept it for 13 years because that is been my goal for so long. But never before have I taken such drastic and positive steps as I have now.

will fit back into that coat. I will be able to shop in Dorothy Perkins, H&M, Next, Gap (though I’d probably never shop in those last two anyway!) and even bloody Tesco F&F. I will be able to buy the beautiful custom clothes I spot on Etsy. I will be able to buy LARP kit from online vendors without having to pay through the nose for custom designs.

I will.

The power is all mine and so is the decision, and this is the decision made.

Before I’m 40, I intend to reach a point that finding clothes I want to wear is so easy, that I love shopping.

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