Day Seven: I F*cking Stink

No two ways about it, I really smell raw right now. Sweat with a hint of irritation (seriously drivers, would it kill you to indicate so I know whether or not I need to get the hell out of your way?!). I’m sitting in Costa with my bacon cob (yum!) and a pot of ginger tea (instead of a chai latte *sob*) and I’ve moved seats twice just to avoid assaulting others with my smell; I’ve come straight from the gym.

skunk from openclipart
Credit: dear_theophilus

‘But why,’ I hear you ask, ‘didn’t you go home and shower before heading out?’

Because home is where my children hang out and, frankly put, if I head home, it’s likely I’d never get out the house again. Or at least not as fast as I’d like. Similar to Monday, the other half has taken the boys, so I can be free to do as much gym as I like and then work my little massive arse off. So I’ve come to Costa because I know there is Wifi and comfort to be had here.

I’m not a patient person and I know, as much as I love my boys, that I’d be upset if I got caught up in whatever game they’re playing, or roped into playing Mario Kart so they can watch. I have a lot to do since the past two days have not been as productive as I  hoped.

wpid-dsc_1862.jpgBut the gym? That was great (in hindsight). Half hour on the elliptical, twenty minutes speed walking, one round of 15lb weights and then a walk and a bike ride to get here. All in all, I may be bored (sooooooooooo bored!) but I’m getting it down and that counts for more in my mind than I ever believed.

wpid-dsc_1869.jpgShame the bacon cob pretty much nullifies the whole hour I spent at the gym (377 calories!). Heh, never mind. I guess it would be far worse if I hadn’t been working so hard first. Who knows, my heightened metabolism (is that really a thing I can count on?) might make my body utilise the food more efficiently.

Yesterday I had to fix the front door. It was saggy and stiff and threatened to lock us all out of the house whether I had the keys or not—this is relevant, I promise!—Just as I started working on it, Sprog1 face-planted on the living room floor. It wouldn’t have been quite so bad except he was buck-ass naked and I think I cracked his lip on the floor boards. I held him while he shrieked, tucked inside my t-shirt while I continued screwing the door fixtures back into place. It was only when I was finished and putting the tool box away that I realised how easy it had been to lift him, hold him (one handed) and stretch above head height to repair the door.

. . . wow, right? I mean, he’s three and he ain’t getting any lighter. But, apparently, I’m getting stronger (or I was so caught up in getting the door shut before I let all the heat out, that I didn’t allow myself to feel the difficulty of what I was actually doing). Whatever it was, I held him easier than I have done for months and performed a reasonably complex task with the other hand, while chatting to the boy and assuring him that he only had ‘a little scratch’ just below his belly button.

That’s when I realised how little I’ve spoken about weights. I don’t know much about them other than they’re freakin’ heavy, but I do know that if you want to build muscle, one should lift heavy weights with low reps and that for toning, one should lift light weights with high reps. I have no idea if 15lbs is high or not, but I generally have to lower the weight when I get onto these machines as the men around me are lifting as much as 40lbs. Sometimes 50lbs.

I wonder . . . how much of that is the equivalent of a car shaped cock extension? 😉

Anyway, these are the machines I used today. No idea how effective it is, but if yesterday is anything to go by, some good is coming of it. 🙂

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